When Disagreement Turns Into Dehumanization

As someone in the disability community, I have always recognized that so many people are struggling with symptoms and realities that can completely alter the course of a life. For those who do not know me, I live with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, a fatal and incurable disease that progressively strips away physical ability. Living beyond one’s 30s is still rare, and the disease ends with little to no physical independence. I currently live with a ventilator and tracheostomy, and many days I am bed bound. I require assistance with nearly every aspect of daily life including eating, drinking, and basic personal care. Every small piece of independence I have is something I fight to maintain every single day. There are many things about this life that I would never choose for myself. 

Recently, I faced public misinterpretation and the hostility that can follow online discourse surrounding disability experience and personal views of one’s situation. I asked a question related to finding “silver linings” in disability. To me, that idea has always meant trying to identify moments of meaning, connection, perspective, or growth despite enormous hardship. It has never meant denying pain or minimizing suffering. Anyone familiar with my advocacy work knows that I would never intentionally invalidate the experiences of disabled individuals whose realities may look very different from my own.

Still, the conversation quickly shifted in a direction I did not anticipate. The idea was labeled “toxic positivity”. I responded by expressing that I believed beauty in spite of suffering was a silver lining. This discussion intensified when another person jumped in. Some replies became increasingly aggressive, and I eventually chose to block several individuals because I felt that respectful dialogue was continuing to deteriorate. The original post was never intended to spark a large-scale argument. I simply hoped it might resonate with people who also use gratitude or perspective as a way to cope. To be honest, I was surprised that if someone found the question toxically positive that they would not respond or even unfollow. 

What followed affected me more deeply. Screenshots of conversations began circulating publicly, and the situation escalated far beyond disagreement. I was accused of ableism and referred to as disgusting. I had my degree and affiliations questioned, and received private messages that were hostile and threatening. When I temporarily made my profile private in order to step away, that decision was mocked as well.

I want to be clear that I am not claiming perfection. I make mistakes. I misinterpret things. I continue learning every day, just like everyone else. Conversations around disability are deeply personal because our experiences and how we perceive them can vary so dramatically. I understand why certain topics evoke strong emotions. What has been difficult for me to process, however, is how quickly disagreement turned into personal attacks that seemed to erase my humanity and years of advocacy work entirely.

This experience has genuinely left me anxious about speaking openly online. That feeling has been difficult to admit because advocacy and community matter deeply to me. I care about disability rights, accessibility, representation, and creating spaces where people feel seen. What has saddened me most is realizing how easily online environments can transform pain into mockery and hostility, even within communities built around shared struggle. Behind each profile is a real human being carrying experiences that others may never fully understand.

To anyone who has ever felt publicly shamed, targeted, or overwhelmed online, I am truly sorry. No matter the circumstance, that emotional weight is real. I see you, and I hope we continue striving toward conversations rooted in empathy rather than dehumanization. 💙